These Streets Ain’t Sesame
Elmo, AI Dividends, and a British Accent
California’s Hunger Games
California just wrapped up its primary elections for Governor, among other things. The way it works around here, there is an “open” primary in which all candidates, Democrat and Republican, pile into the same ballot. Only the top two make the cut for the General Election in November.
This year’s top two are Steve Hilton, a Republican former Fox News host and former aide of David Cameron in the UK. Apparently his English accent sounded sophisticated to the hillbillies of central California, enough to propel him to the top spot so far. Xavier Becerra, a lifelong Democrat, came in at number two by simply promising that he is definitely not Steve Hilton. Tom Steyer, the billionaire who everyone sees only around election time,, and a local sheriff missed the cut by a mile, proving neither money nor a badge is good enough. BTW, they still haven’t finished counting the votes yet.
The Republican candidate doesn’t stand a chance in November. I honestly can’t tell you if that’s a blessing or a curse.
Oops, Trump’s Personal Piggy Bank is Gone.
This week, the White House officially gave up the ghost on its attempt to create a $1.8 Billion “Anti-Weaponization Fund.” Astonishingly, it appears that there are limits to the shenanigans Trump can pull off. Originally, the fund was designed to pay damages to anyone who felt bullied by the US government, which is practically everyone in the world tbh.
When critics pointed out that the fund looked more like a Kickstarter for Trump’s near and dear, the backlash got so spicy that a handful of Senate Republicans threatened to mutiny over it. Realizing that it looked too obvious even by his standards, Trump asked his people to take the idea behind the proverbial barn and put it down. RIP to the most flagrantly shameless scam ever tried by a POTUS.
Uncle Sam Wants to Buy the Matrix
This week, Trump announced that the government might buy a stake in OpenAI, the maker of chatGPT. Apparently, CEO Sam Altman of OpenAI has floated this utopian future to the White House: Government will own a piece of OpenAI. In turn, the company will pay “AI Dividends” out of its corporate profits, which can be used by the government to pay US citizens a monthly income to offset the fact that a chatbot took their jobs. Yes, a chatbot might pay your rent in the future.
Anthropic, a competitor and the maker of Claude, has denied being part of these discussions.
To top it off, Trump has signed a new executive order that now requires AI companies to show Uncle Sam their code for a security vibe-check before unleashing it into the wild.
Welcome to our future.
Even Elmo Had to Pick a Side
We are officially broken as a people.
There was a time when extreme tribalism was restricted to British soccer fans, college football and white country clubs in Texas. You painted your face, wore your team’s jersey, got drunk before kickoff and shook your fist at the opponents.
These days, it has leaked into the most mundane corners of everyday life.
Take Stanley drinking cups. Drinking water used to be for hydration once. Today, it’s part of a gang affiliation ritual. Owning the “right drinking cup” has become a basis for social acceptance. Teens in high schools are facing ostracization for carrying an “off brand” water vessel. Thanks TikTok.
Take the recent ruckus in the WNBA. What should have been a historic, universally celebrated boom for women’s basketball quickly turned into a toxic internet battlefield. The media and fans drew a hard line in the sand between rookies Caitlin Clark and Angel Reese. You couldn’t just be a basketball fan who enjoyed watching two incredibly talented athletes. If you praised one, you were accused of tearing down the other. Damn.
This week, we may have peaked with the Elmo affair. And, I say this with the fond hope that peaks usually lead to declines.
This last week, the NBA finals between the New York Knicks and the San Antonio Spurs got off the ground. Both fine teams. My favorite, the Spurs, are expected to lose. In the lead up to the Finals, Elmo, a puppet for those who don’t know him, hopped online to say, “Elmo hopes both teams have fun.” It was a classic and innocent dose of kindergarten diplomacy.
You’ll never believe what happened next. The Knicks fans went absolutely bonkers. Because Sesame Street studios are located in Manhattan, the feral New York fans ripped Elmo a new one, accusing him of being a traitor to his own twon. Elmo’s Twitter account was flooded with thousands of unhinged responses, many threatening bodily violence and mayhem. One prominent fan account demanded, “PICK A SIDE COWARD.” Another grimly warned the puppet, “These streets ain’t sesame.” Even the New York City Department of Transportation joined the dogpile, tweeting a photo of an uptown Sesame Street sign with the tongue-in-cheek threat: “Don’t make us take this down, bro.”
There is something stilling and calming about watching utter chaos. Your eyes glaze as you watch the roofs burn. Your mind tunes out. And you begin to breathe evenly. I must be in a dream, right? This too shall pass. That is exactly how I felt watching this unfold online. It perfectly exemplifies our current psychological landscape.
Even the middle ground is a hazard zone now. You can actually get canceled for being neutral. If you’re not actively cheering for someone - whether a party, a smartphone, a pop star or a basketball team - you will be deemed hostile and traitorous. No, don’t even think about making a joke.
When a fuzzy puppet whose purpose is to teach toddlers to share cannot survive a basketball rivalry without being told to watch his back, you know we’re approaching peak-chaos. Listen, if Elmo can’t manage to stay neutral in 2026, the rest of us don’t stand a freaking chance.
Have a good weekend.
PS: I’m on travel for the next two weeks. I’ll write you after that. Cheers.