The King, the socialist and a guy named Bob from Boeing.

Written by the world’s leading AI expert who lives in Silicon Valley

The United States government has been shut down for 24 days, and the question foremost on the minds of Americans today is “What happened to the What Ho! Report?” I’ve heard the voice of the people and here I am, writing with great trepidation because I also know that the people are not very bright. Trump has been ruthlessly quelling any known, unknown and speculative resistance to his regime. Although I don’t fall into any of these categories, I suspect I could be targeted under a fourth category called “Let’s just indict this guy because he makes sense.” I kid you not. Why, even the other day, a former member of the Trump administration was indicted by a grand jury for not matching his socks with his pants and not his shoes.

Naturally, the people are increasingly incensed at this outrageous subversion of democracy in America. By people, I mean the Democratic party voters who are livid at the spectacle of Trump treating basic constitutional rights of citizens as a nice to have, much like how Howard Lutnick, the Commerce Secretary, treats his brain. Seven million Americans marched on the streets of Chicago, Seattle, San Francisco, Los Angeles, New York city and many other cities, chanting “No Kings.” Heck, people even marched in London and Madrd in solidarity with Americans, and these dudes actually have kings. I agree with my people. We cannot allow anyone (but maybe an old, white Democratic president like Biden) to overreach and abuse his powers as President. This will not stand, man. I cannot wait to find out what new and innovative methods Chuck Schumer and Hakeem Jeffries have in mind towards losing the mid-term elections in 2026.

In the meanwhile, New York city is on the verge of electing Zohran Mamdani as its first Muslim, socialist, brown-skinned Mayor, The Republicans are in a tizzy about the whole thing, and they have many questions. Are you seriously planning to vote for a Muslim in New York after 9/11? Are you seriously planning to elect a socialist mayor in New York, the Mecca of capitalism? Why does Mamdani eat with his hands? Mamdani wants people to be able to afford rent. He wants them to be able to buy groceries. Mostly basic stuff. Why is he popular? Because the rents are sky high and inflation still runs hot. Also, his Tiktok game is pretty lit. The conservatives are unable to understand why anyone would want to vote for Mamdani. Much like how the liberals have been trying to figure out why anyone would want to vote for an orange haired Caligula.

Alarmed at the rise of Tiktok and people like Mamdani using it, Trump has taken over the company. Rumor has it Barron Trump, Melania’s boy, will take a senior role at Tiktok. Barron is apparently trying to grow facial hair and look grown up in preparation for this upcoming role.

There is a lot going on. And none of it is pretty.

Bill Gates thinks that AI will usher in a golden era for workers. According to Bill, we will have two-day work weeks in the future, and machines will do all the hard work, leaving people with plenty of time to figure out how to pay for groceries after their salaries have been slashed by 60 percent.

The competition to win the AI wars and dominate the world is fierce among companies and even nations. Reports say that the Chinese and the Russians are sending beautiful women to Silicon Valley to seduce tech workers and get them to part with tech secrets. I don’t know what to say other than to tell the Russians and the Chinese, “Hey, if you guys are reading this, I live in the Silicon Valley and happen to know a secret or two.” Hold on guys, don’t cancel me. I just put that in there to check if my wife really reads this, as she claims.

I’ve been traveling a bit this year. Each time, I am on a plane, I get this tingly feeling in the back of my mind that there must be a Boeing person somewhere out there who has been assigned to make sure that the plane does not take off, or if it does take off, it must be brought down immediately. I have this image of the Boeing CEO on his Monday morning staff meeting calls going, “Guys, I’m hearing reports of our planes actually flying in the air with their engines and doors intact for extended periods of time. Is this true? I want to know who is responsible for this and fire them immediately. Is it you, Bob? I know it’s you. I’ve got my eyes on you, man.”

Not to mention the air traffic controllers, half of whom Elon Musk fired during his short blitzkrieg on the Deep State. I’ve seen reports that air traffic controllers are doing part time jobs as Uber drivers and delivering food for DoorDash because they aren’t getting paid during the government shutdown. The last thing I need is a dude at the control tower going, “United 721, lower your speed to two-one-zero, and wait till I drop this package off. WTF is wrong with people, why can’t they tip more. No, United 721, that was not for you. I forgot to mute you. Can you hold please? Someone’s calling me. Okay I’m back. It was a guy named Bob from Boeing. For some reason, he wants you on the ground as soon as possible.”

These are interesting times we live in. If you’re stressed, remember this: Things always get worse.

Have a good weekend, folks.