The Empire Strikes Back

The revenge of the turds

Reactions to Donald Trump’s victory are pouring in. In an interview to New York Times, Nancy Pelosi squarely blamed Joe Biden for the mess, saying he should have stepped aside earlier so the Democratic Party would have had more time to conduct primaries. I couldn’t agree more with Pelosi. Joe Biden should have stepped aside in 2020 when he lost the first three primaries and allowed Bernie Sanders to win the nomination.

Speaking of Bernie, the Senator from Vermont came down harshly on the Democratic Party saying that it had lost touch with the working class, implying that it deserved to lose. He also admitted that his recent book titled, “Let’s execute all the rich people,” didn’t help the Democrats.

As it turned out, black men and women voted in droves for Kamala Harris, dispelling concerns many had raised about their possible defection to Trump. Latino men and white women turned out be the biggest surprises, voting in much larger numbers than expected for Trump. White men continued to be the bulwark of Trump’s base, crushing previous records. Older women voted more for a young Harris, and younger men voted more for an older Trump. The last time we had such a messy and incomprehensible ending was in the series finale of Game of Thrones.

A confused Joe Biden, when quizzed by reporters for his reaction, responded, “We won. Didn’t we? Which year is this?” before being reminded by aides that we were already in 2024 and gently escorted off stage.

A battle weary and forlorn Kamala Harris conceded defeat in a stirring speech delivered from Howard University. Vice President Harris spoke of how proud she was of the race she ran, and how she ran it. She asked young Americans to never stop fighting for what they believed in. She concluded with, “Dang, I should have thrown Joe Biden under the bus and driven the bus over him. Excuse me, I need a drink now.”

In the meanwhile, Trump and his Gestapo brigade have begun preparations for the second term. A source inside the Trump tent revealed that the President was taking an unconventional vetting approach to selecting Cabinet members. She said, “Listen, if you’re someone with a penchant for white collar crimes, does drugs daily and happens to have hundreds of billions of dollars, you might be the person we’re looking for. Elon Musk is the only one so far who checks all the boxes. We might have Elon run everything.”

On a serious note…

When I first landed in America in 1989 and began looking around, I immediately fell in love with the Democratic Party. They were cool, fun loving and open minded. In contrast, the Republicans were boring, buzz-killing and narrow minded. Having Strom Thurmond and Pat Buchanan on your team never helps. The Democrats were the choice of the new generation, to paraphrase a famous Pepsi ad. The party stood for free speech, pro-arts, anti-war, pro-choice, and stood with the average guy on the street against the Man. Like I said, we were cool kids back then. We marched for Rodney King. Bill Clinton played the sax on Arsenio Hall. Most importantly, the Blue team could take a joke. I remember the endless stream of jokes on late night television about Clinton. Seinfeld was on Thursday nights. All was well with the world. It was a non-stop party under Clinton.

George W Bush rudely crashed the party in 2000 and killed the vibe instantly. Then 9/11 happened, and everyone got all serious. People started getting fired for saying silly stuff. I recall Bill Maher being fired from his show, which was called Politically Incorrect. If you can’t say politically incorrect stuff on a show called Politically Incorrect, where else can you possibly say it? That was the whole point, wasn’t it? America turned into a Catholic school overnight, with headmasters and nuns roaming the corridors. We began gagging even our comedians. The cool, fun loving and open-minded Democratic Party lost its nerve and toed the line drawn by Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rush Limbaugh, who were Hall of Fame buzz-killers. In hindsight, losing that vibe in 2000-2001 was the beginning of the end of many things. I left the US for Bangalore in 2002.

Fast forward to the financial crisis and the Obama years, things got more and more heated. By the time I returned to the US in 2014, the vibe had shifted distinctly and not for the better. The first thing I noticed was that everyone was a lot glummer and meaner. I was told that we were still recovering from 2008. Jokes on late night were flat and one-sided, targeted only at the Republicans. Obama was cool but making jokes about Obama wasn’t apparently cool. We had picked teams by this time. Most tragically, we stopped making fun of ourselves.

I honestly don’t know what the cause and effect is here. Did the Democrats get angrier because they lost the fun vibe? Or did we lose our fun vibe because we got angry? Obama was many things, but he was not cool or fun in the way Bill Clinton was. Or even George W Bush for that matter, who occasionally poked fun at himself. Things just went downhill with Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden. Of course, Trump put the final nail in the coffin and killed all the joy we once had. The saddest story is about Trump being so annoyed about the jokes Obama made about him that he decided to run for office and burn the place down.

A lot is going to be said over the next few months. Why did we lose? Why did he win? Why are we doing this to ourselves? The real question we should be asking is ‘why are the angry people winning?’ Joe Rogan, once a comedian, is not funny anymore. He used to be pretty funny. I used to like him. Now all he does is rile people up. Marc Maron used to be funny. Now all he does is lament and grieve and make me anxious. Ironically, even Bill Maher has turned into an angry, old man yelling at kids to stay off his lawn. We used to be Jerry Seinfeld once. We’ve turned into George Castanza.

Whatever other problems this country may have, and how much ever we may fix them, here is something to keep in mind: Angry people have never accomplished great things that lasted the test of time. Angry men ruin the world.

I really think we ought to find a way to Make America Laugh Again. MALA. Laughter, as is often said, is the best medicine there is.

MALA. We just had a Presidential candidate who had MALA in her very name. She was joyous and laughed a lot. I wish we could have had her as our President. Sigh.

Anyway, keep laughing even as you keep fighting the good fight. We will be okay, This I promise you.

Have a fantastic weekend and week ahead.